Second Husband Gifts

"I liked you better as my first husband."

'I inherited a huge deficit from her first husband.'

"This is Arthur, my first husband."

Shepherd and eurydice

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Butterfly Woman

Killer Executive Suits.

Larry's used art

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Gender Equality

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"What's a patent?"

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"Talk nerdy to me."

Demure lady with gloves

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"We've made great progress!"

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

International Women's Day

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.