Second Husband Pillows

"I liked you better as my first husband."

'I inherited a huge deficit from her first husband.'

"This is Arthur, my first husband."

Shepherd and eurydice

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Butterfly Woman

Larry's used art

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

Killer Executive Suits.

Gender Equality

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"We've made great progress!"

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"Talk nerdy to me."

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

Demure lady with gloves

International Women's Day

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."