Divorcee Remarrying Gifts

'-and then after your fifth we let you keep it!'

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Marriage least expected to last...

"And this is Helen, my wife by a previous marriage."

"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."

"I have been happily married... three times!"

'Two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right.'

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

Couple with lots of kids. Woman says: 'This is our daughter, my son from my first marriage, John's daughter from his second marriage, and I've no idea who the one on the end is.'

"I really think Diana is going to be my watershed wife."

'Sir, wife number two is on line one and wife number four is on line three ... or is it the other way around?'

'I've been happily married for 15 years... that covers 3 marriages.'

"My seven-year-old is a prince, but my forty-seven-year-old is a pain in the ass."

"You look quite presentable when you make the effort. Your ex-wife always told me you scrubbed up well."

"The bagel’s from a previous marriage."

Base camp for Ed and Janet Wilson's courageous attempt to scale Mt. Blended Family.

"You again, Paul?! Hey, you must know this ceremony inside out!"

'It'll get better, Vinny - my marriages always have a bad first quarter.'

'Do try and look intelligent-here comes my first husband...'

"I don't believe it. That's my ex-wife."

"This just means that Jerry has got a new wife."

The Gayhorns

'Pay no attention, they are a couple of ex husbands.'

Apply to marry multi-marriage failure.

Daughter/psychiatrist

"That's my mum and her boyfriend's the one next to my dad who's behind his girlfriend next to his second wife, just behind my mums first husband."

"I see a lot of Don Juan Complexes, but you're the first Don Knotts Complex I've come across."

'He's not my granddad, he's my father by his third marriage.'

'I tried to feeding on demand - it led to divorce on demand.'

"I liked you better as my first husband."

'Oh, he's a real family man -- he's starting on his fourth.'

"I'd like you to meet my Husband 2.0!"

Vicar tells bride, 'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"Your ex asked you to remarry him?!!! You're not considering it, are you???" "Oh, heavens no! I know he's only after me for his money!!!"

"When you say you want to speak to my parents, do you mean my mommy and her new husband, or my daddy and his new wife or my mommy and daddy?"