Divorcee Remarrying Gifts

'-and then after your fifth we let you keep it!'

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Marriage least expected to last...

"And this is Helen, my wife by a previous marriage."

"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."

"I have been happily married... three times!"

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

'Two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right.'

Couple with lots of kids. Woman says: 'This is our daughter, my son from my first marriage, John's daughter from his second marriage, and I've no idea who the one on the end is.'

"The bagel’s from a previous marriage."

"You look quite presentable when you make the effort. Your ex-wife always told me you scrubbed up well."

'Sir, wife number two is on line one and wife number four is on line three ... or is it the other way around?'

'I've been happily married for 15 years... that covers 3 marriages.'

"My seven-year-old is a prince, but my forty-seven-year-old is a pain in the ass."

"I really think Diana is going to be my watershed wife."

Base camp for Ed and Janet Wilson's courageous attempt to scale Mt. Blended Family.

Apply to marry multi-marriage failure.

'Pay no attention, they are a couple of ex husbands.'

"I don't believe it. That's my ex-wife."

'Do try and look intelligent-here comes my first husband...'

'It'll get better, Vinny - my marriages always have a bad first quarter.'

"This just means that Jerry has got a new wife."

"You again, Paul?! Hey, you must know this ceremony inside out!"

Daughter/psychiatrist

"That's my mum and her boyfriend's the one next to my dad who's behind his girlfriend next to his second wife, just behind my mums first husband."

"I liked you better as my first husband."

'I tried to feeding on demand - it led to divorce on demand.'

Vicar tells bride, 'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"I'd like you to meet my Husband 2.0!"

'He's not my granddad, he's my father by his third marriage.'

'Oh, he's a real family man -- he's starting on his fourth.'

"I see a lot of Don Juan Complexes, but you're the first Don Knotts Complex I've come across."

"Your ex asked you to remarry him?!!! You're not considering it, are you???" "Oh, heavens no! I know he's only after me for his money!!!"

"When you say you want to speak to my parents, do you mean my mommy and her new husband, or my daddy and his new wife or my mommy and daddy?"

' And after getting an excellent divorce settlement, Cinderella married an even more charming prince, and lived happily ever after.'