Remarriage Gifts

Couple with lots of kids. Woman says: 'This is our daughter, my son from my first marriage, John's daughter from his second marriage, and I've no idea who the one on the end is.'

"Thanks to separations, divorces and remarriages, I've got 20 grandparents."

"When you say you want to speak to my parents, do you mean my mommy and her new husband, or my daddy and his new wife or my mommy and daddy?"

Couple with lots of kids. Woman says: 'This is our daughter, my son from my first marriage, John's daughter from his second marriage, and I've no idea who the one on the end is.'

'My parents are divorced...and I'm doing very nicely, thank you.'

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."

"This is a great place to work...they give you a day off every time you get married!"

Second marriage vows.

'Mom & her new husband' and 'Pop & his live-in girlfriend'.

"My mom's getting remarried and I'm part of the transition team"

"I never take no for an answer. As a result, I've been married 27 times."

'Relax honey, I've done this dozens of times.'

' And after getting an excellent divorce settlement, Cinderella married an even more charming prince, and lived happily ever after.'

'I finally remarried. You've been in a coma for almost three days.'

'I'm glad Mom married you, Dad, you're a stepfather in the right direction.'

"That's my mum and her boyfriend's the one next to my dad who's behind his girlfriend next to his second wife, just behind my mums first husband."

'He's remarrying her for his money.'

"But Goldilocks' third husband was just right."

'I just ran into your first wife downtown -- she makes a lot of sense.'

Always a pleasure to supply your wedding cakes, Mabel, the usual is it?

'We were divorced, remarried, and divorced again. Now we're just living together.'

'Hope it's 3rd time lucky, Betty!'

"And these two are from my first mortgage."

'We still aren't talking to each other. Could you tell him, 'I do'?'

'I know we both have kids from a previous marriage, but the term is 'blended famil', not 'bundled family.''

'This is Claire, my prequel, and Cynthia, my sequel.'

"...failing is ok."

"The Bolsons are pleased to announce that their daughter, Naomi,is going to take another shot at marriage."

Hopeless widower and hopeful widow

'We were married before, and now he wants a rematch.'

'You can call off the search now -- I remarried.'

"I went to farmers' markets with my first wife. I don't know if I want to go through all that again."

"My seven-year-old is a prince, but my forty-seven-year-old is a pain in the ass."

"There's nothing wrong with second marriages, Mr. Hobbs, if you terminate your first marriage."