Remarriage Reflector Gifts

"My mom's getting remarried and I'm part of the transition team"

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

Republicans and Democrats debate while the US economy drowns.

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

"And this is Helen, my wife by a previous marriage."

"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

"Your mind is somewhere else." "My mind is somewhere else."

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

"I have been happily married... three times!"

Couple with lots of kids. Woman says: 'This is our daughter, my son from my first marriage, John's daughter from his second marriage, and I've no idea who the one on the end is.'

'Less spare change under the cushion is my leading economic indicator!'

The ground cracking beneath a banker's feet because his bonus is so big and heavy.

'Sir, wife number two is on line one and wife number four is on line three ... or is it the other way around?'

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

'Control tower, we're having difficulty taking off....'

"The bagel’s from a previous marriage."

'Don't take it the wrong way, we could always be friends'

"My seven-year-old is a prince, but my forty-seven-year-old is a pain in the ass."

'I'm writing a novel using our marriage as inspiration. It's called, 'This Sucks'.'

"I really think Diana is going to be my watershed wife."

'I've been happily married for 15 years... that covers 3 marriages.'

"The perfect killing machine? Is that all I am to you?"

Base camp for Ed and Janet Wilson's courageous attempt to scale Mt. Blended Family.

"Sorry Honey, I'll be about thirty years late for dinner tonight."

"Martin, did we ever get our freak on?"

Apply to marry multi-marriage failure.

He was a great dodgeball player. Who's in heaven now. He will be missed.

"This just means that Jerry has got a new wife."

"You again, Paul?! Hey, you must know this ceremony inside out!"

"Who knew a lifeless box could spread such fear? It came from the mailbox."