Rebirth Reflector Gifts

Shortly after attaining enlightenment, Hank reincarnates as a stone.

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

Republicans and Democrats debate while the US economy drowns.

'THAT'S the Holy Land? - You're kidding, right?'

'Less spare change under the cushion is my leading economic indicator!'

The ground cracking beneath a banker's feet because his bonus is so big and heavy.

'Control tower, we're having difficulty taking off....'

'Can you remember where you were when you first realized you were full of crap?'

He was a great dodgeball player. Who's in heaven now. He will be missed.

Rats Flea a Sinking Ship

"Since they graduated, have any of your children moved back in with you?"

"This next one's for anyone feeling a little lonely right now, namely, me."

"'A land of milk and honey'? - But I'm on a DIET!"

"And remember, if you need anything I'm available 24/6."

Small Cash Infusion

"Uh Oh! Looks like you're being un-friended."

'This babbling brook reminds me I should probably call my wife.'

When can you get rid of the crutches? Doctor says now, lawyer says not yet.

"Do you believe in life after hoard?"

'If you just keep harping on the *#@!! results, you'll never be able to see what a perfectly sound economic theory it was.'

'I recognize my incapacity to adequately fulfill the ministry entrusted to me...so I'm stepping down.'

"I've been to the office..."

"Tireless worker? Well, when I was young, yes, but not anymore I can tell you..."

"I can afford to die or I can afford to be sick, but I can't afford to be sick and then die."

'We've all read the report cover to cover. Anyone read all that stuff in the middle?'

'When you smile the whole ... cynical world laughs at you.'

"I guess today separated the wheat from us chaff."

"I'm not a guru. I just came up here until the stock market goes back up."

Man Cleans His Reflections Teeth

Would be interested in a job inspecting mirrors? I could see myself doing that.

Retirement...Retirement...

"I bet that under your preachy, holier-than-thou attitude is another preachy, holier-than-thou attitude."

'God's dead. We're closed.'

"I really enjoyed the Bible."