Routine Reflector Gifts

"I've been to the office..."

"School today, school tomorrow... School next week, school next month... Sometimes, when I think about where I'm going...I can't help but feel that maybe I've already been there."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

"The years 1966 through 1995 are blank because I was on tour with the Grateful Dead."

Poet beside a (literally) babbling brook.

"You know what I'd like to try someday? Landlubbing."

"Wait, it's Thursday? I thought it was Tuesday! The first day of the rest of my life was supposed to be Wednesday!!"

Corona measures

When can you get rid of the crutches? Doctor says now, lawyer says not yet.

"If you didn't want to feel inferior to your classmates, you shouldn't have gone to such a good school."

'I recognize my incapacity to adequately fulfill the ministry entrusted to me...so I'm stepping down.'

"Look, Dad, I can explain my report card... Maybe I'm not the best student in the world...maybe I'll never be as good as you want me to be... Maybe..."

"Behave sensibly!"

"I was a cog in the machine for thirty years, and then it went solid-state!"

Shortly after attaining enlightenment, Hank reincarnates as a stone.

"Tireless worker? Well, when I was young, yes, but not anymore I can tell you..."

'We've all read the report cover to cover. Anyone read all that stuff in the middle?'

"I'm going to have to delay any further unlocking."

"What's that look? C'mon, you're scaring me!"

Retirement...Retirement...

"I was a used-car salesman, but I was terrible at it."

"I fondly remember the time before the money ran out."

"I resigned of my own free will."

'The grades aren't MY fault - I think Mrs. Pomeroy is teaching-disabled.'

'When I was your age, the closest thing I had to texting was spelling things out in my alphabet soup.'

"I'm back from my class reunion. Everyone else was unemployed,"

'If the truth will set you free, what's the deal with the Fifth Amendment?'

C in astrophysics, B- in calculus... what kind of genius are you?

Transient Inebriant

"My mom's getting remarried and I'm part of the transition team"

"Some other kid stole my identity and got all my 'A's."

'Hey, don't bother me about the rioting in Cardiff -- talk to the Prince of Wales, there.'