Routine Reflector Gifts

"I've been to the office..."

"School today, school tomorrow... School next week, school next month... Sometimes, when I think about where I'm going...I can't help but feel that maybe I've already been there."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

"The years 1966 through 1995 are blank because I was on tour with the Grateful Dead."

Poet beside a (literally) babbling brook.

"I keep climbing this water spout. The rain washes me out. Then out comes the sun and dries up the rain. So what do I do? I climb right back up again. Talk about a rut."

Corona measures

"Wait, it's Thursday? I thought it was Tuesday! The first day of the rest of my life was supposed to be Wednesday!!"

"You know what I'd like to try someday? Landlubbing."

When can you get rid of the crutches? Doctor says now, lawyer says not yet.

"If you didn't want to feel inferior to your classmates, you shouldn't have gone to such a good school."

"Behave sensibly!"

"Look, Dad, I can explain my report card... Maybe I'm not the best student in the world...maybe I'll never be as good as you want me to be... Maybe..."

"I was a cog in the machine for thirty years, and then it went solid-state!"

Shortly after attaining enlightenment, Hank reincarnates as a stone.

'I recognize my incapacity to adequately fulfill the ministry entrusted to me...so I'm stepping down.'

"Tireless worker? Well, when I was young, yes, but not anymore I can tell you..."

'We've all read the report cover to cover. Anyone read all that stuff in the middle?'

Retirement...Retirement...

"I'm going to have to delay any further unlocking."

"What's that look? C'mon, you're scaring me!"

Would be interested in a job inspecting mirrors? I could see myself doing that.

"I was a used-car salesman, but I was terrible at it."

"I fondly remember the time before the money ran out."

"I resigned of my own free will."

Watch out! Mom is doing her karaoke tiger-mom routine. I'm ready. Teddy! It's time to study harder,

'The grades aren't MY fault - I think Mrs. Pomeroy is teaching-disabled.'

'When I was your age, the closest thing I had to texting was spelling things out in my alphabet soup.'

"I'm back from my class reunion. Everyone else was unemployed,"

'If the truth will set you free, what's the deal with the Fifth Amendment?'

C in astrophysics, B- in calculus... what kind of genius are you?

Transient Inebriant

"My mom's getting remarried and I'm part of the transition team"