Marital Conflict Resolution Gifts

"I clipped his wings, but they grew back."

"You keep everything bottled up inside."

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

"I thought we swore never to go to bed angry."

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

'I agreed to a relationship coach, not a referee.'

Richard and Wendy Kozier, of Saddle River, New Jersey, with U.N. Peacekeeping Contingent

'Whenever he feels under attack, he calls for backup.'

"May I remind you that our prenuptial agreement called for me to take the plants?"

"Look, I'm not denying the validity of your grievances. I just think they'd be better addressed at home, Helen."

"He's fluent in 24 computer languages and never says a bloody word to me."

Lady Justice Balances A Marriage Quarrel

'Objection over-ruled!'

'You deserve one another, but I don't deserve you!'

'We need to talk.'

Very sorry

"O.K., class, next we'll pound out the dough until that ungrateful, self-centered son of a bitch realizes he's not the center of the world, and maybe, just maybe, he doesn't deserve an attractive, well-educated woman with a wonderful sense of humor."

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

"I can try, but I've never had a marriage overturned on appeal."

'Well, Helen, you were right - our marriage contract does include an option year.'

'My husband is a very large, loud and obnoxious man. OK, sure, I tried to hire a hit man. But just to hit him.'

'And he seems to think he's God's gift to women.'

"This is just like you, beverly. We're supposed to meet alone and you bring your attorney."

"Look, like I keep telling what's-her-name here, we don't have a marriage problem."

"Well. Firstly, I can't take the case because I'm not a divorce lawyer and secondly, I'm your husband."

'You say he's stubborn, mean, cantankerous, won't take orders, sometimes won't move? Are you talking about your mule or your husband?'

'Share your innermost feelings or the remote gets it.'

'I told my wife that I didn't buy her chocolates because she'd put on a bit of weight...how many roses do you think it will take before she lets me back into the house?'

'Maybe your wife doesn't understand you, because you don't make any sense!'

'My wife doesn't understand that I need to unwind after work.'

"You said it. I heard it. There's no taking it back, Harold!"