Relationship Reconciler Gifts

'You've got to EXPECT some faults with a guy that was as easy to land as I was.'

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"We've both made mistakes, Doug, but I consider the appetizers to be a thing of the past."

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

'Of course the physical side of your relationship's broken down, you've let yourself go!'

A man sews broken hearts back together.

"What's wrong?"

'He's sending 2,400 roses to win her back, and charging it to her credit card.'

It was worth a try, but I'm afraid the thrill is still gone, Harold.

"I am staying ‘present,’ and presently she’s annoying me!"

'You know I can never stay mad at you. Get in here, ya big galoot.'

'Well, Helen, you were right - our marriage contract does include an option year.'

Sadie, we need to see a couple's counselor. Yuck. No way! I won't spend a bunch of dough to have some halfwit tell me how to live my life! But I found an inexpensive counselor who will just listen to us talk through our issues. Counseling $10. This end up.

'May I leave early today, Sir? The market is down and my wife is alone...'

I keep taking him back because I'm a big believer in recycling

"I may not be in for a while, Eddie. My wife and I have decided to normalize relations."

"I'm not sure I'm ready to date again. I'm just coming off a bad mitosis."

Woman does a strip tease on a remote control.

Bob tries to win her back with flowers.

'And he seems to think he's God's gift to women.'

Tunnel of Begrudging Compromise.

"Stacy, Tom thinks you've been acting distance since you became a flight attendant."

"Please, Dianna, at least give me a chance to rebrand myself."

'I hope you can reform his addiction to computers!'

'We need to twerk.'

'And do you, Rob, promise to love and cherish Simone, even if she earns more than you do?'

'You can call off the red alert -- we made up.'

Marriage Guidance / Travel Agent

"It slices! It dices! It drives a wedge between you and your wife, because you stored all the unsold units in her writing nook, not like she was using it anyways but whatever!"

"Three. How many times you been married?"

I can rise from the ashes like a phoenix only so many times!

Earl, I emerged from my shell months ago, and you never even noticed.