Relationship Reconciler Pillows

'You've got to EXPECT some faults with a guy that was as easy to land as I was.'

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"We've both made mistakes, Doug, but I consider the appetizers to be a thing of the past."

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

'Of course the physical side of your relationship's broken down, you've let yourself go!'

A man sews broken hearts back together.

"What's wrong?"

"I am staying ‘present,’ and presently she’s annoying me!"

'He's sending 2,400 roses to win her back, and charging it to her credit card.'

Bob tries to win her back with flowers.

'Well, Helen, you were right - our marriage contract does include an option year.'

'You know I can never stay mad at you. Get in here, ya big galoot.'

Woman does a strip tease on a remote control.

"I'm not sure I'm ready to date again. I'm just coming off a bad mitosis."

I keep taking him back because I'm a big believer in recycling

"I may not be in for a while, Eddie. My wife and I have decided to normalize relations."

'May I leave early today, Sir? The market is down and my wife is alone...'

'And he seems to think he's God's gift to women.'

'And do you, Rob, promise to love and cherish Simone, even if she earns more than you do?'

Tunnel of Begrudging Compromise.

"Please, Dianna, at least give me a chance to rebrand myself."

'I hope you can reform his addiction to computers!'

"Stacy, Tom thinks you've been acting distance since you became a flight attendant."

Marriage Guidance / Travel Agent

"It slices! It dices! It drives a wedge between you and your wife, because you stored all the unsold units in her writing nook, not like she was using it anyways but whatever!"

'You can call off the red alert -- we made up.'

"Three. How many times you been married?"

"I know we have an arrangement, Gayle. Now I want a rearrangement."

"If you want her back, say it with flowers. Flowers say, 'I love you,' without slurring the words and getting all obnoxious."

Marriage Counselor - Another Success.

'Care to do something crazy, like kiss and make up?'