Romantic Rejuvenators Gifts

I read it in a magazine article on how to improve your sex life.

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

Kissing the Blarney Stone.

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

'Who said romance is dead? I just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

"We can try and mend the damaged heart, but not a broken one."

New life (organ donation)

"I love what you've done with him."

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

A man sews broken hearts back together.

It was worth a try, but I'm afraid the thrill is still gone, Harold.

'I think it's time we got a new headboard.'

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

Seeing the marriage counselor.

"Hey, I know - why don't we go on a little crime spree?"

'The marriage counselor didn't save our marriage. The plumber and the second bathroom saved our marriage.'

"She always gets the upper bunk."

'You know I can never stay mad at you. Get in here, ya big galoot.'

Two years ago, during a special episode of the Ask Sadie show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Here is an actual reader letter: Dear Sadie, My son just taught me how to use an iPad, so I am writing to tell you that doing so makes me feel young again. You might want to try it. - Nathaniel from Ontario. Thank you for helping me feel young! I may not be as spry as I was back in the old days ... but at least I've never taken two whol

Woman does a strip tease on a remote control.

"I need a box of the gayest chocolate you've got."

Boss has 'will you marry me, Ingrid?' sign and says, 'Fax this until you get a yes.'

Sadie, we need to see a couple's counselor. Yuck. No way! I won't spend a bunch of dough to have some halfwit tell me how to live my life! But I found an inexpensive counselor who will just listen to us talk through our issues. Counseling $10. This end up.

"A see through nighty? God who'd want to see you through that?"

'And he seems to think he's God's gift to women.'

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

'Let's at least give the parabolic mattress a try - the Thompsons swear it saved their marriage.'

"I investigated your husband, Mrs Adams. He isn't cheating on you. In fact, I'm your husband. We've just really lost touch recently."

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

"We're cutting back on therapy. You?"

'We need to twerk.'

"Please, Dianna, at least give me a chance to rebrand myself."

"Lately she refers to me as her 'insignificant other'."