Romance Revivers Gifts

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

'Sigh. . .You work life balance includes me as well you know.'

'Who said romance is dead? I just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

I haven't been down there since last Valentine's day. I want to check on a couple who asked me to rekindle their romance. A year ago I told them that thanks to me they'd be spending more time together and less time at their offices. I said I'd make it so they'd have lots of nights at home ordering some take-out and watching a movie. They must be very happy with me. All I did was shoot an arrow of love, but apparently they think I caused some sort of pandemic to happen!

Office Park

"We can try and mend the damaged heart, but not a broken one."

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

"Remember? I was sitting right up there when you came by and said 'Hi, beautiful!'"

"You never giggle and read cartoon captions to me anymore."

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

'We're conducting a survey to find out how many married couples still have that old feeling.'

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

'We don't text anymore.'

'I think it's time we got a new headboard.'

Wife to husband about water shot from lapel flower: 'When I said we should put the magic back in our marriage, Steve ...'

'Let's at least give the parabolic mattress a try - the Thompsons swear it saved their marriage.'

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

"I investigated your husband, Mrs Adams. He isn't cheating on you. In fact, I'm your husband. We've just really lost touch recently."

"Please, Dianna, at least give me a chance to rebrand myself."

'Real Sex is consensual non-cyber + includes conversation.'

'My husband is all work and no play. Do you have anything that smells like an office?'

"Whoa! That's a little clingy."

Sex Games of the Married

"He used to be romantic. Now I'm trying to restore him to his default settings."

'THERE'S my mojo.'

Ducttape Man! I'll mend your broken heart!

"You've got a green light - use it!"

A couple in bed together with their phones.

"Flowers? That's so arrogant!"

"The Bolsons are pleased to announce that their daughter, Naomi,is going to take another shot at marriage."

"I'm afraid we've lost that loving feeling."

'Mitch, the Insurance Claim Adjuster, above a sea of fog' - Tribute to Caspar David Friedrich.

'I love you, but I have to keep moving or I'll suffocate and die.'

'How much older is the guy I'm dating?' Well, he can play solitaire without a computer...'

"When I said it would be sexy if you were more ANIMAL in bed... I was thinking of a tiger!"