Romance Rediscoverer Gifts

Wife to husband about water shot from lapel flower: 'When I said we should put the magic back in our marriage, Steve ...'

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

'Sigh. . .You work life balance includes me as well you know.'

You're the olive in my martini

'Who said romance is dead? I just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

I haven't been down there since last Valentine's day. I want to check on a couple who asked me to rekindle their romance. A year ago I told them that thanks to me they'd be spending more time together and less time at their offices. I said I'd make it so they'd have lots of nights at home ordering some take-out and watching a movie. They must be very happy with me. All I did was shoot an arrow of love, but apparently they think I caused some sort of pandemic to happen!

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

"What I mean is what do you do with yourself all day?"

"You never giggle and read cartoon captions to me anymore."

'We're conducting a survey to find out how many married couples still have that old feeling.'

"When we were dating it was all wine, soft lights, and candy. So nothing's changed really."

'Relax babe, that's me before the operation,'

"We're taking separate vacations this year."

Single men in Tahiti

Jenga!!!

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

Love and temptation go hand in hand...

"I thought you might like to hear how my love-making sounded when I was a younger man."

'You know I can never stay mad at you. Get in here, ya big galoot.'

'You've never forgotten that Elsie Turner, have you George!'

"We never have any activities that make for cute anecdotes anymore."

Man asking lady if she cares for him

Sadomasochists in love

Lulu's Dating Service: Special! Adult summer camp...Dining, dancing & long walks on the beach.

"Remember the great cranberry scare of '59? And the cellular phone hysteria of '93? Ralph Nader's killer hot dog with the nitrates? Our evacuation at Love Canal? Remember the toxic-teeth scare, with the amalgam fillings leeching mercury into our gullets?..."

"If I remember correctly, you were the only one the dating agency had left over."

'We've been through thick and thin. Tell me about the thin again.'

'Let's at least give the parabolic mattress a try - the Thompsons swear it saved their marriage.'

My first Boyfriend.

"Honey! Remember when we first met and you used to nibble my ear?"

'When I married him, I didn't expect the full frontal crudity!'

"I thought dry ice would enhance the mood."