Romance Renovator Gifts

Ducttape Man! I'll mend your broken heart!

'I found the termites!'

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

'Who said romance is dead? I just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

"We can be old-timey office workers for Halloween."

"I love what you've done with him."

'Will I still be married?'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

'I think it's time we got a new headboard.'

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

"Hey, I know - why don't we go on a little crime spree?"

'The marriage counselor didn't save our marriage. The plumber and the second bathroom saved our marriage.'

'I know it's hard to believe, but before this, I'd never built a thing!'

"She always gets the upper bunk."

"A see through nighty? God who'd want to see you through that?"

"Merely dating" "Lover's leap" "Undecided? Take a hike"

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

"How's this for a romantic moonlit interlude?"

We're incompatible. I'm a woman, he's a Pig.

"We're cutting back on therapy. You?"

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

"First, you will meet Mr. Hot. Next, you will meet Mr. Cool. Then you will meet Mr. Right."

"Lately she refers to me as her 'insignificant other'."

"Please, Dianna, at least give me a chance to rebrand myself."

'Let's at least give the parabolic mattress a try - the Thompsons swear it saved their marriage.'

Another Hot and Heavy Night of Explaining

"I just really wish things could go back to the way they were when we met last Sunday."

'Real Sex is consensual non-cyber + includes conversation.'

Heaven - under new management.

'Jeez, Hon - ain't you ever goin' wear your 'yes' jammies again!?'

"Whoa! That's a little clingy."