Relationship Renovator Gifts

Seeing the marriage counselor.

'The marriage counselor didn't save our marriage. The plumber and the second bathroom saved our marriage.'

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

"We're cutting back on therapy. You?"

"I love what you've done with him."

"First, let me suggest separate bathrooms."

'I think it's time we got a new headboard.'

'I recommed that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life.'

'She's caught him, but she doesn't seem able to land him.'

Henry's wife changed her mind about their divorce.

'When was the last time you had a tune up?'

"We would have divorced years ago if it wasn't for the children - neither of us would take them!"

Home Solutions. . . Body Language Screen

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

Kissing the Blarney Stone.

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

"Remember? I was sitting right up there when you came by and said 'Hi, beautiful!'"

'Will I still be married?'

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

'Of course the physical side of your relationship's broken down, you've let yourself go!'

A man sews broken hearts back together.

'I can't talk to my wife - all she says is `Baaah! Baaah!`!

'We don't text anymore.'

It was worth a try, but I'm afraid the thrill is still gone, Harold.

"Hey, I know - why don't we go on a little crime spree?"

"She always gets the upper bunk."

Woman does a strip tease on a remote control.

Sadie, we need to see a couple's counselor. Yuck. No way! I won't spend a bunch of dough to have some halfwit tell me how to live my life! But I found an inexpensive counselor who will just listen to us talk through our issues. Counseling $10. This end up.

"I'm not sure I'm ready to date again. I'm just coming off a bad mitosis."

'Well, Helen, you were right - our marriage contract does include an option year.'

"A see through nighty? God who'd want to see you through that?"

'And he seems to think he's God's gift to women.'

"Please, Dianna, at least give me a chance to rebrand myself."

'I hope you can reform his addiction to computers!'