Relationship Reviver Gifts

"Please, Dianna, at least give me a chance to rebrand myself."

'We do like both parties to attend even though you haven't been out together since 1984...'

She - Interpreter - He.

man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Do You Know It's Anniversary

Kissing the Blarney Stone.

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

'Who said romance is dead? I just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

Office Park

"I love what you've done with him."

"Remember? I was sitting right up there when you came by and said 'Hi, beautiful!'"

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

'We don't text anymore.'

'I think it's time we got a new headboard.'

It was worth a try, but I'm afraid the thrill is still gone, Harold.

Seeing the marriage counselor.

"Hey, I know - why don't we go on a little crime spree?"

'The marriage counselor didn't save our marriage. The plumber and the second bathroom saved our marriage.'

"She always gets the upper bunk."

"A see through nighty? God who'd want to see you through that?"

Your relationship can thrive again but you've got to work on it. You've got to experience your feelings and express them. Amanda Kern. Comics counseling. Sadie, when Mort says that President Obama symbolizes a new era of hope and cooperation, how does that make you feel? Nauseated, insulted, disgusted by Mort's Pollyannaish wimpyness. Good, now say it to Mort. Here? In front of you?

"I'm not sure I'm ready to date again. I'm just coming off a bad mitosis."

Woman does a strip tease on a remote control.

Sadie, we need to see a couple's counselor. Yuck. No way! I won't spend a bunch of dough to have some halfwit tell me how to live my life! But I found an inexpensive counselor who will just listen to us talk through our issues. Counseling $10. This end up.

'And he seems to think he's God's gift to women.'

"We're cutting back on therapy. You?"

'We need to twerk.'

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

"Lately she refers to me as her 'insignificant other'."

'Jeez, Hon - ain't you ever goin' wear your 'yes' jammies again!?'

Sex Games of the Married

"If men are from Mars and women are from Venus dogs must be from Pluto."