Relationship Reliver Gifts

"Remember? I was sitting right up there when you came by and said 'Hi, beautiful!'"

She - Interpreter - He.

man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Do You Know It's Anniversary

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

Kissing the Blarney Stone.

"We've both made mistakes, Doug, but I consider the appetizers to be a thing of the past."

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'Who said romance is dead? I just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

"I love what you've done with him."

A man sews broken hearts back together.

'I think it's time we got a new headboard.'

"I am staying ‘present,’ and presently she’s annoying me!"

'We don't text anymore.'

"What's wrong?"

It was worth a try, but I'm afraid the thrill is still gone, Harold.

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

'He's sending 2,400 roses to win her back, and charging it to her credit card.'

'I can't talk to my wife - all she says is `Baaah! Baaah!`!

Seeing the marriage counselor.

"Hey, I know - why don't we go on a little crime spree?"

'The marriage counselor didn't save our marriage. The plumber and the second bathroom saved our marriage.'

"I'm not sure I'm ready to date again. I'm just coming off a bad mitosis."

"I may not be in for a while, Eddie. My wife and I have decided to normalize relations."

Woman does a strip tease on a remote control.

"A see through nighty? God who'd want to see you through that?"

"She always gets the upper bunk."

Sadie, we need to see a couple's counselor. Yuck. No way! I won't spend a bunch of dough to have some halfwit tell me how to live my life! But I found an inexpensive counselor who will just listen to us talk through our issues. Counseling $10. This end up.

Bob tries to win her back with flowers.

Your relationship can thrive again but you've got to work on it. You've got to experience your feelings and express them. Amanda Kern. Comics counseling. Sadie, when Mort says that President Obama symbolizes a new era of hope and cooperation, how does that make you feel? Nauseated, insulted, disgusted by Mort's Pollyannaish wimpyness. Good, now say it to Mort. Here? In front of you?

'And he seems to think he's God's gift to women.'

"Lately she refers to me as her 'insignificant other'."

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

"We're cutting back on therapy. You?"