Relationship Revivalist Gifts

"The Bolsons are pleased to announce that their daughter, Naomi,is going to take another shot at marriage."

'We don't text anymore.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"You owe me five bucks."

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

"...until death do you a favor."

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

"Tom, I’d like you to meet Chris. Chris is better than you."

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

Somewhere in America... the day after "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" came to an end.

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

Kissing the Blarney Stone.

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

A cartoonist at the doctor, in yoga, at home and in therapy

"The Gross National Product and the Gross Domestic Product are doing okay. It's the Gross Domestic Mojo that's going down the toilet."

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

"Very Presidential."