Relationship Revivalist Gifts

"The Bolsons are pleased to announce that their daughter, Naomi,is going to take another shot at marriage."

'We don't text anymore.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

"You owe me five bucks."

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"...until death do you a favor."

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"Tom, I’d like you to meet Chris. Chris is better than you."

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

Somewhere in America... the day after "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" came to an end.

Kissing the Blarney Stone.

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

A cartoonist at the doctor, in yoga, at home and in therapy

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

"The Gross National Product and the Gross Domestic Product are doing okay. It's the Gross Domestic Mojo that's going down the toilet."

"Very Presidential."

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

"What happened to the thin crust guy I married?"