Spiritual Rebirth Gifts

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

"If I become 'Born again', can I fudge a bit on my age?"

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

The only way to see the world is to see the world

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

Courage. Love.

'You must heal yourself.'

"Serenity's cool and all, but when do we get to bliss?"

Phoenix

'You've changed.'

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

2pm meet your Creator

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

Steve found himself on his travels.

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

"Shhh - he's trying open his third nostril."

"The good news is, I got religion!"

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

'Goopta took early retirement.'

"Not only do I not know the meaning of life, I also forgot why I came up here."

"I've been feeling more transparent."

"You'll find it's lonely at the top."

Yahweh/Your Way

"That's the dating guru."

"Don't just stand there, do nothing."

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'