Spiritual Awakening Gifts

'You've changed.'

Yahweh/Your Way

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

Courage. Love.

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'You might want to let that one go...'

"When I said I wanted closure, this is not what I had in mind!"

'I died on the first day of the rest of my life.'

A Better Life

"Don't just stand there, do nothing."

"Being reborn, eh? What better time to learn about our Lord? He was smooshed for your sins - did you know that?!"

"Harry got a recall notice!"

"What happened to our clothes..?"

"You'll find it's lonely at the top."

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"Being in the now today sure ain't like the good ol' now!"

"Ok - now press, 'saved'."

Leaves Falling in Heaven.

I don't care if you did win the bloody X-Factor. You're dealing with the H-Factor here.

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'Goopta took early retirement.'

Man with various tattooed names crossed out and replaced with Jesus

Heavenly Desert Islands.

Speaking in tongues for the Deaf

"The good news is, I got religion!"

"That's where the celebrities are."

'I just came up with 910,547 meanings of life!'

Wheelchair Returns after Lourdes

Jesus in the 'Lost and Found'.

'Nobody told me anything about pre-registraton!'

2pm meet your Creator

"Where's my stuff?"

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

"Honey, I’ve found God!"