Spiritual Enlightenment Gifts

Ned's Northingness: All the Nothing You Need To Achieve Mindfulness

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

"Home depot."

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

Courage. Love.

'You must heal yourself.'

FAQs.

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

Guru.

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

Christian and Born again Christian...

'You've changed.'

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

The Path

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"