Mid-life Awakening Gifts

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

He kept up his guitar practise...

"Your contents have shifted."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

Middle-Age Superheroes

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

ZZZZZZZ Top

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

"Just when did you acquire those tattoos, Warner?"

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

"You used to be that ambitious."

'You again? You know it's called a mid-life crisis, not mid-week!'

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

'Where Are They Now?'

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

We micro-grafted all the hairs from the back of your head to the top and now we've completely covered your bald spot.'

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

'Here's your chance to become a legend.'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'