Mid-life Reflections Gifts

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

'Where Are They Now?'

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"You used to be that ambitious."

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

Realizing that his youth was now behind him, Mr. Twigly left home at the sight of his first gray hare.

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

"Remember back when we were just larva and didn't have a care in the world?"

"You should do something brilliant, before it's too late."

'Yeah, I hate change, too.'

"My salad days have all turned to coleslaw..."

They all thought they'd be astronauts...instead they're all accountants.

'It's quite common with men your age. You've got a silver duct tapeworm.'

'Since we've been married thirty years, Lester, I think it's time to face up to the fact that we've been seeing too much of each other.'

'Once they start to sag, then I'll have to learn professional, technical and networking skills.'

"Yesterday I got in touch with a childhood friend!"

"It started with a few grey hares in my 20's and they kept showing up."