Mid-life Reflections Gifts

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

ZZZZZZZ Top

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

"You used to be that ambitious."

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

'Where Are They Now?'

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

Been there. Done that. (Man stands between two doors.)

Realizing that his youth was now behind him, Mr. Twigly left home at the sight of his first gray hare.

"Remember back when we were just larva and didn't have a care in the world?"

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

"You should do something brilliant, before it's too late."

'Yeah, I hate change, too.'

They all thought they'd be astronauts...instead they're all accountants.

"My salad days have all turned to coleslaw..."

'Since we've been married thirty years, Lester, I think it's time to face up to the fact that we've been seeing too much of each other.'

"Yesterday I got in touch with a childhood friend!"

"It started with a few grey hares in my 20's and they kept showing up."

'It's quite common with men your age. You've got a silver duct tapeworm.'