Midlife Career Reflection Gifts

'You're at that awkward age, Danforth, still thinking of promotion.'

37 years in the same position.

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

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'I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. So many people have passed me by I feel like a road sign on the highway to success.'

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

We micro-grafted all the hairs from the back of your head to the top and now we've completely covered your bald spot.'

'Where Are They Now?'

"You used to be that ambitious."

"While you're at it Houdini, try and find the last ten years of my life in there."

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

'Here's your chance to become a legend.'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

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"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

"How do you know if you're under the radar or washed up?"

'I'm glad to see you finally pulled in sales. Nevertheless, you're fired. Here, we're dealing with socks and shoes, not with suits and shirts.'

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

"Tell me again how many young minds I will have shaped by the end of my teaching career."

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

Three years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie™ show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she could deal with her midlife crisis. You should try a radical makeover. When I hit midlife, I dyed my hair, got some tattoos, and dropped 75 pounds. My husband barely recognized me when he returned from overseas. He was not happy with my "new self," so I divorced him rather than change who I'd become. It was the best decision I'd made since I cut my thieving mother out

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

"Remember back when we were just larva and didn't have a care in the world?"

Been there. Done that. (Man stands between two doors.)

Realizing that his youth was now behind him, Mr. Twigly left home at the sight of his first gray hare.

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

"You should do something brilliant, before it's too late."