Mid-life Awakening Pillows

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

He kept up his guitar practise...

"Your contents have shifted."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"Just when did you acquire those tattoos, Warner?"

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

"You used to be that ambitious."

'Where Are They Now?'

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

'You again? You know it's called a mid-life crisis, not mid-week!'

We micro-grafted all the hairs from the back of your head to the top and now we've completely covered your bald spot.'

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

'Here's your chance to become a legend.'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."