Midlife Awakening Pillows

"Give her a few minutes, she just realized she's reached the age when you get excited by things like air fryers."

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

"I'm here for the hair."

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

"Good news, honey - seventy is the new fifty."

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

We micro-grafted all the hairs from the back of your head to the top and now we've completely covered your bald spot.'

'Where Are They Now?'

"You used to be that ambitious."

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

'Here's your chance to become a legend.'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"Remember that, honey? Serious testosterone."

"The nest may be empty, but our drinks are full."

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

Quick Spring Fling

Midlife: You Are Here.

"Just when I’ve reconciled the fact that I’m in my 40s, my 50th birthday shows up."