Midlife Awareness Pillows

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

ZZZZZZZ Top

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

Rock and Roll

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

"I'm here for the hair."

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

"This old bike of mine has sure lost some if its speed over the years."

"You used to be that ambitious."

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

"You've come to a fork in the road – age-defying or age-appropriate?"

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

"My name is Jane and I've been forty-six for 30 days."

Undiagnosed middle-age-onset discomfort summer tour

"Remember back when we were just larva and didn't have a care in the world?"

"You should do something brilliant, before it's too late."

Tragedy and Remedy.

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

"My salad days have all turned to coleslaw..."