Midlife Appreciation Pillows

"The combover works even less now that you're using your back hair."

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

Rock and Roll

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

'I refuse to relinquish the title, 'Top Young Exec'.'

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

"You used to be that ambitious."

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"This old bike of mine has sure lost some if its speed over the years."

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

'Where Are They Now?'

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

"You've come to a fork in the road – age-defying or age-appropriate?"

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

"Remember back when we were just larva and didn't have a care in the world?"

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

Undiagnosed middle-age-onset discomfort summer tour

"My name is Jane and I've been forty-six for 30 days."

Realizing that his youth was now behind him, Mr. Twigly left home at the sight of his first gray hare.

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

"You should do something brilliant, before it's too late."

Tragedy and Remedy.

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

They all thought they'd be astronauts...instead they're all accountants.