Midlife Awareness Gifts

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

Rock and Roll

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

"I'm here for the hair."

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

"You used to be that ambitious."

"This old bike of mine has sure lost some if its speed over the years."

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

"You've come to a fork in the road – age-defying or age-appropriate?"

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

"My name is Jane and I've been forty-six for 30 days."

Undiagnosed middle-age-onset discomfort summer tour

"Remember back when we were just larva and didn't have a care in the world?"

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

"You should do something brilliant, before it's too late."

Tragedy and Remedy.

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

"My salad days have all turned to coleslaw..."

"It's a deal: Two more years, then we let ourselves go."