Midlife Realization Gifts

'Let's face the facts, Walter -- we've become middle-aged urban professionals.'

'I hate it when teen angst becomes mid-age angst.'

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

Rock and Roll

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

'I refuse to relinquish the title, 'Top Young Exec'.'

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

'Where Are They Now?'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"This old bike of mine has sure lost some if its speed over the years."

We micro-grafted all the hairs from the back of your head to the top and now we've completely covered your bald spot.'

"You used to be that ambitious."

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

'Here's your chance to become a legend.'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

"You've come to a fork in the road – age-defying or age-appropriate?"

Midlife: You Are Here.

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

"Remember back when we were just larva and didn't have a care in the world?"

Undiagnosed middle-age-onset discomfort summer tour

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

"It seems like only yesterday I was on the verge of getting it all together."