Middle Age Awareness Gifts

"Ah! Here it is!"

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

"The cape comes off too."

"I need something that says, 'Let's party,' but in a fiscally responsible manner."

"Put it under your pillow, and maybe you'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

"You're looking for 'Sex After Fifty'? That's in the 'fiction' department."

"Let's face it,Rhoda-you're no spring chicken yourself!"

"Do you want anything? I'm going into the kitchen to forget what I went in there for."

'It's my biological clock.'

Hot flashes

"Face it, darling - you've reached that 'funny age...'"

"What's happening to us, Bob? We used to be so issue-oriented."

'Ecce homo!'

'Disease is inevitable. My advice is to find an illness you can live with...'

"If I were a dog I'd only be 11."

'Take ten years off the top.'

'Jason and I are absolutely incompatible. We're both going through the menopause.'

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

"Give her a few minutes, she just realized she's reached the age when you get excited by things like air fryers."

Just to see the expression on their faces, store clerk Rodney Clatch liked to offer senior discounts to 40-something women.

"Say, Flo, did you make an appointment with a lifestyle counselor?"

Old Age Depression

"I've got about 3 more inches before I'm willing to get reading glasses."

'Why don't you look like Jennifer Aniston, you're the same age.'

"For your birthday this year I thought we'd have a pinata."

'You look younger...are you colouring your hair?'

"No, actually. 40 is the new 60."

The 'Mystery Pain 'game

"Sigh...I'm getting old."

Before I Knew My Mom Had Alzheimer's, Her Weirdness Drove Me Crazy