Embracing Middle Age Gifts

Hot Flash Cook Book.

Life Begins at 40

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

'She says she's 40 but she's forgotten to add on the V.A.T.!'

'You can always spot the ones having a mid-life crisis.'

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

"It's time we discuss menopause and climax change."

"The cape comes off too."

"Put it under your pillow, and maybe you'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

Four years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie™ Show, our resident octogenarian asked listeners for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Dear Sadie, I was going to suggest you start a YouTube channel to share your advice with younger people. But YouTube just stabbed its content creators in the back. They stopped showing ads on videos discussing anything even remotely controversial. That's going to put so many important voices out of business. So I don't really have an

Lady about man in tutu: 'Herb is determined to age gracefully.'

Hot flashes

"Do you want anything? I'm going into the kitchen to forget what I went in there for."

"You're looking for 'Sex After Fifty'? That's in the 'fiction' department."

'It's my biological clock.'

"Right now, I'm between naps."

"What's happening to us, Bob? We used to be so issue-oriented."

'I used to live for the moment, but now I'm comfortable waiting 3 to 5 business days.'

"I put my pants on the same as every other middle-aged person—in constant fear that the button will pop off under pressure."

Middle age means a constant struggle not to be irritated by everyone and everything.

Internal Clock

"Face it, darling - you've reached that 'funny age...'"

'Take ten years off the top.'

'Ecce homo!'

'You know you're 40 when...'

'Jason and I are absolutely incompatible. We're both going through the menopause.'

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

"I've got about 3 more inches before I'm willing to get reading glasses."

"No, actually. 40 is the new 60."

"For your birthday this year I thought we'd have a pinata."