Embracing Middle Age T-Shirts

Life Begins at 40

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

'She says she's 40 but she's forgotten to add on the V.A.T.!'

'You can always spot the ones having a mid-life crisis.'

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

"It's time we discuss menopause and climax change."

"Put it under your pillow, and maybe you'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

Lady about man in tutu: 'Herb is determined to age gracefully.'

'It's my biological clock.'

"Do you want anything? I'm going into the kitchen to forget what I went in there for."

"You're looking for 'Sex After Fifty'? That's in the 'fiction' department."

"Right now, I'm between naps."

"I put my pants on the same as every other middle-aged person—in constant fear that the button will pop off under pressure."

"Face it, darling - you've reached that 'funny age...'"

'I used to live for the moment, but now I'm comfortable waiting 3 to 5 business days.'

"What's happening to us, Bob? We used to be so issue-oriented."

Middle age means a constant struggle not to be irritated by everyone and everything.

Internal Clock

'Ecce homo!'

'Take ten years off the top.'

'You know you're 40 when...'

'Jason and I are absolutely incompatible. We're both going through the menopause.'

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

"I've got about 3 more inches before I'm willing to get reading glasses."

"For your birthday this year I thought we'd have a pinata."

"No, actually. 40 is the new 60."

"Say, Flo, did you make an appointment with a lifestyle counselor?"

Ears and Nostril Shampoo.

The 'Mystery Pain 'game

"Sigh...I'm getting old."