Middle Age Experience T-Shirts

'...lasting more than four hours.'

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

"It's time we discuss menopause and climax change."

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

"The cape comes off too."

"I need something that says, 'Let's party,' but in a fiscally responsible manner."

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

"Put it under your pillow, and maybe you'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

Four years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie™ Show, our resident octogenarian asked listeners for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Dear Sadie, I was going to suggest you start a YouTube channel to share your advice with younger people. But YouTube just stabbed its content creators in the back. They stopped showing ads on videos discussing anything even remotely controversial. That's going to put so many important voices out of business. So I don't really have an

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

"Let's face it,Rhoda-you're no spring chicken yourself!"

"Do you want anything? I'm going into the kitchen to forget what I went in there for."

Hot flashes

'It's my biological clock.'

"You're looking for 'Sex After Fifty'? That's in the 'fiction' department."

'Someone told him life begins at forty. Now he's reserving his energies!'

'Ecce homo!'

'I used to live for the moment, but now I'm comfortable waiting 3 to 5 business days.'

"I put my pants on the same as every other middle-aged person—in constant fear that the button will pop off under pressure."

"What's happening to us, Bob? We used to be so issue-oriented."

"Face it, darling - you've reached that 'funny age...'"

'Take ten years off the top.'

'Jason and I are absolutely incompatible. We're both going through the menopause.'

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

"No, actually. 40 is the new 60."

'I think my body's trying to tell me I'm overweight. This morning I found 'Space For Rent' signs on my hips.'

"Say, Flo, did you make an appointment with a lifestyle counselor?"

'Why don't you look like Jennifer Aniston, you're the same age.'

"I've got about 3 more inches before I'm willing to get reading glasses."

"For your birthday this year I thought we'd have a pinata."

'You look younger...are you colouring your hair?'

"Yoo-hoo! My husband gets the senior-citizen discount! Yoo-hoo, Officer, yoo-hoo!"

"Ah! Here it is!"