Middle Age Transition T-Shirts

"Say, Flo, did you make an appointment with a lifestyle counselor?"

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"I'm here for the hair."

"Good news, honey - seventy is the new fifty."

We micro-grafted all the hairs from the back of your head to the top and now we've completely covered your bald spot.'

'Here's your chance to become a legend.'

"Just when I’ve reconciled the fact that I’m in my 40s, my 50th birthday shows up."

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

"The nest may be empty, but our drinks are full."

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

"Put it under your pillow, and maybe you'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

"I see myself rising through the ranks of the organization until midlife, when I will most likely hit a wall and go screaming through the door."

Middle age anxiety about leaving the house.

"Do you want anything? I'm going into the kitchen to forget what I went in there for."

'It's my biological clock.'

"You're looking for 'Sex After Fifty'? That's in the 'fiction' department."

A Classicist Considers Taking Up The Mambo

Strange Aftertaste birthday cards.

"With finances the way they are we had to give up the idea of a family holiday this year."

"What's happening to us, Bob? We used to be so issue-oriented."

"Tell me this is just your mid-life crisis."

'Ecce homo!'

'Take ten years off the top.'

"Don't worry about being in your 40's - before you know it, you'll be in your 50's!"