Middle Age Experience Pillows

'...lasting more than four hours.'

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

"It's time we discuss menopause and climax change."

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

"I need something that says, 'Let's party,' but in a fiscally responsible manner."

"Put it under your pillow, and maybe you'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

'It's my biological clock.'

"Let's face it,Rhoda-you're no spring chicken yourself!"

"You're looking for 'Sex After Fifty'? That's in the 'fiction' department."

"Do you want anything? I'm going into the kitchen to forget what I went in there for."

'Someone told him life begins at forty. Now he's reserving his energies!'

'I used to live for the moment, but now I'm comfortable waiting 3 to 5 business days.'

"Face it, darling - you've reached that 'funny age...'"

"What's happening to us, Bob? We used to be so issue-oriented."

"I put my pants on the same as every other middle-aged person—in constant fear that the button will pop off under pressure."

'Take ten years off the top.'

'Ecce homo!'

'Jason and I are absolutely incompatible. We're both going through the menopause.'

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

"No, actually. 40 is the new 60."

"Say, Flo, did you make an appointment with a lifestyle counselor?"

"I've got about 3 more inches before I'm willing to get reading glasses."

'I think my body's trying to tell me I'm overweight. This morning I found 'Space For Rent' signs on my hips.'

"For your birthday this year I thought we'd have a pinata."

'You look younger...are you colouring your hair?'

The 'Mystery Pain 'game

"Yoo-hoo! My husband gets the senior-citizen discount! Yoo-hoo, Officer, yoo-hoo!"

"Ah! Here it is!"