Nature Rejuvenator Gifts

New life (organ donation)

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

Kissing the Blarney Stone.

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

Admit it Doc. You're jealous because my home remedy worked better than your fancy prescription!

Getting Rid of the Cure

'We can try to fit it with an artificial limb.'

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

'Not that sort of rock garden!'

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

'I think it's time we got a new headboard.'

Alternative Medicine.

"The sea will doctor you now."

'St John's wort ambulance' - hippy ambulance.

"Hey, I know - why don't we go on a little crime spree?"

'I've still got the fire in my belly, but for the next two weeks I'm solar powered.'

Two years ago, during a special episode of the Ask Sadie show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Here is an actual reader letter: Dear Sadie, My son just taught me how to use an iPad, so I am writing to tell you that doing so makes me feel young again. You might want to try it. - Nathaniel from Ontario. Thank you for helping me feel young! I may not be as spry as I was back in the old days ... but at least I've never taken two whol

Musician

"A see through nighty? God who'd want to see you through that?"

"She always gets the upper bunk."

"Lay off the natural remedies. You're beginning to ferment."

King on desert island sits beneath tree in shape of court jester hat

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

"The pharmacist will be with you shortly to answer any questions that you have."

"Lately she refers to me as her 'insignificant other'."

Alternative medicine

A beekeeper with their bees

Some buildings are just not meant to have roof gardens.

"The secret to my productivity is sleeping when everyone is awake."

'Jeez, Hon - ain't you ever goin' wear your 'yes' jammies again!?'