Job Rejuvenator Gifts

'I found the termites!'

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

Kissing the Blarney Stone.

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

'You've spelt 'C.V.' wrongly.'

New life (organ donation)

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

Your performance since you came here suggests you may have lied on your resume.

'I think it's time we got a new headboard.'

"Hey, I know - why don't we go on a little crime spree?"

'I know it's hard to believe, but before this, I'd never built a thing!'

"She always gets the upper bunk."

"A see through nighty? God who'd want to see you through that?"

'Sorry, but I have to put 'Orca': Who would hire a 'Killer Whale'?...'

"Your resume was good, up until the point where you said, 'Don't make me beg.'"

'... and I especially like this attribute... 'an immigrant's work ethic'.'

'But you got a second interview, that's something.'

"Lately she refers to me as her 'insignificant other'."

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

Planning Office - Acquired by Tesco

'Jeez, Hon - ain't you ever goin' wear your 'yes' jammies again!?'

"I have to admit, I've never seen anyone list 'cleaning out my desk' as a job skill."

"The secret to my productivity is sleeping when everyone is awake."

"For those missing years, I refer you to my book 'Lost in Tanzania.'"

"Actually those missing four yeas I was working here under a different name."

'Your previous employer hinted that you have a problem with chronic career self-sabotage. What's that all about?' 'Why don't you hire me, dummy, and find out for yourself?'

Natural Regeneration Area.

"They send me in after the works done to handle any complaints."

Rising energy prices and increased unemployment opens up for new job opportunities.

'Well is good to see that the physical side is still - er, alive and kicking!'

"First of all, we need to push the beds together."

'We haven't fought in years. I'd like a rematch.'

"According to your C.V. you were self employed, but you made yourself redundant?"