Job Rejuvenator Gifts

You're in garbage collection? I prefer to think of it as "mess transit."

'I found the termites!'

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

Kissing the Blarney Stone.

'You've spelt 'C.V.' wrongly.'

New life (organ donation)

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

Your performance since you came here suggests you may have lied on your resume.

'I think it's time we got a new headboard.'

"Hey, I know - why don't we go on a little crime spree?"

'I know it's hard to believe, but before this, I'd never built a thing!'

"She always gets the upper bunk."

Two years ago, during a special episode of the Ask Sadie show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Here is an actual reader letter: Dear Sadie, My son just taught me how to use an iPad, so I am writing to tell you that doing so makes me feel young again. You might want to try it. - Nathaniel from Ontario. Thank you for helping me feel young! I may not be as spry as I was back in the old days ... but at least I've never taken two whol

"A see through nighty? God who'd want to see you through that?"

"Your resume was good, up until the point where you said, 'Don't make me beg.'"

"Lately she refers to me as her 'insignificant other'."

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

'... and I especially like this attribute... 'an immigrant's work ethic'.'

'But you got a second interview, that's something.'

'Sorry, but I have to put 'Orca': Who would hire a 'Killer Whale'?...'

Planning Office - Acquired by Tesco

"The secret to my productivity is sleeping when everyone is awake."

"I have to admit, I've never seen anyone list 'cleaning out my desk' as a job skill."

'Jeez, Hon - ain't you ever goin' wear your 'yes' jammies again!?'

"For those missing years, I refer you to my book 'Lost in Tanzania.'"

"Actually those missing four yeas I was working here under a different name."

'Your previous employer hinted that you have a problem with chronic career self-sabotage. What's that all about?' 'Why don't you hire me, dummy, and find out for yourself?'

Natural Regeneration Area.

"They send me in after the works done to handle any complaints."

Rising energy prices and increased unemployment opens up for new job opportunities.

"First of all, we need to push the beds together."

'We haven't fought in years. I'd like a rematch.'

'Well is good to see that the physical side is still - er, alive and kicking!'