Medical Mishaps Fan Gifts

"Congratulations, Mrs Foopster!! It's a bouncing baby boy!!"

Eye Drops

Barbeque Casualty.

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

'How the heck could we lose a $14,000 pacemaker?!'

'I'll give it back to you in a second hon, I just want to get this broccoli out of my teeth.'

'No, Mr Zarynski...you've got the hospital gown on backwards.'

OPERATING ROOM, 'Your husband may have a little trouble sleeping for awhile -- we spilled some coffee in him.'

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

'I can't turn it off.'

"Not dead, nonsense! According to the computer you are dead! . . . Please don't waste anymore of out valuable time and leave the operating room!"

"Ok, first off... ever have one of those days when you just can't seem to do anything right?"

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

Sling

'How's my Surger? Call 1-600 Lawsuit.'

"See? Right there - my wedding ring."

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

"I'm still worried about not finding the end of your finger."

Paramedic Mistakes.

Broken legs and broken nose in the hospital.

'Get a time release capsule stuck in your throat again?'

"Well... the good news is we've dealt with your ingrowing toenail..!"

"And do you get a shooting pain between your eyes?"

"Well, at least his heart's in the right place."

"When I yell 'CLEAR' that doesn't mean you."

'You're just going to feel a little pinch, then a horrific burning pain, your eyes will roll back into your head, you will drool uncontrollably...'

CITY HOSPITAL, 'It's all right, officer -- I'm an outpatient.'

Dr. Mooglum made two mistakes. First, he stuck the stethoscope on the patient's forehead, and secondly, he replaced the end with a suction cup.

'He accidentally brushed his teeth with hemorrhoid-shrinking cream.'

Broken hospital sign.

'I swear to God, I think they were trying to kill me.'

'Mr. Jayson, get back into your bandages.'