Medical Mishap Enthusiasts Gifts

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

"Well... the good news is we've dealt with your ingrowing toenail..!"

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

"And as if that wasn't bad enough. They've discovered that I'm allergic to bandages!"

spellchecker

OPERATING ROOM, 'Your husband may have a little trouble sleeping for awhile -- we spilled some coffee in him.'

'I can't turn it off.'

"Not dead, nonsense! According to the computer you are dead! . . . Please don't waste anymore of out valuable time and leave the operating room!"

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

Sling

'How's my Surger? Call 1-600 Lawsuit.'

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

Dyslexic Palm Reading

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

Paramedic Mistakes.

"I'm still worried about not finding the end of your finger."

Broken legs and broken nose in the hospital.

'Wait a minute! Didn't I see you on 'Funniest Medical Bloopers and Blunders'?'

"Well, at least his heart's in the right place."

"When I yell 'CLEAR' that doesn't mean you."

CITY HOSPITAL, 'It's all right, officer -- I'm an outpatient.'

Dr. Mooglum made two mistakes. First, he stuck the stethoscope on the patient's forehead, and secondly, he replaced the end with a suction cup.

'He accidentally brushed his teeth with hemorrhoid-shrinking cream.'

'Mr. Jayson, get back into your bandages.'

'Try not to make this doctor nervous ? this will be his first operation.'

Broken hospital sign.

Sorry, you rolled off the table just as I was going in!

"I told him 1 tranquilizer every 4 hours, not 4 tranquilizers every 1 hour."

"Good heavens! Who hooked you up? This one is cable TV!"