Medical Mishap Lover Gifts

'Mr. Jayson, get back into your bandages.'

'Um...Dr. Daly, I think there's something wrong with the MRI.'

Barbeque Casualty.

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

'How the heck could we lose a $14,000 pacemaker?!'

'I'll give it back to you in a second hon, I just want to get this broccoli out of my teeth.'

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

'No, Mr Zarynski...you've got the hospital gown on backwards.'

"And as if that wasn't bad enough. They've discovered that I'm allergic to bandages!"

'I can't turn it off.'

OPERATING ROOM, 'Your husband may have a little trouble sleeping for awhile -- we spilled some coffee in him.'

"Not dead, nonsense! According to the computer you are dead! . . . Please don't waste anymore of out valuable time and leave the operating room!"

"Melisa! - Your spelling is atrocious!"

Desert crawler rescued by truck that won't start.

'How's my Surger? Call 1-600 Lawsuit.'

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

Sling

"See? Right there - my wedding ring."

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

Broken legs and broken nose in the hospital.

"Call the inspector and tell him to cancel today, that something has come up."

Paramedic Mistakes.

'Wait a minute! Didn't I see you on 'Funniest Medical Bloopers and Blunders'?'

'Next time make sure it's the bath plug before you pull it out.'

"Well... the good news is we've dealt with your ingrowing toenail..!"

"When I yell 'CLEAR' that doesn't mean you."

CITY HOSPITAL, 'It's all right, officer -- I'm an outpatient.'

Broken hospital sign.

'Try not to make this doctor nervous ? this will be his first operation.'

Dr. Mooglum made two mistakes. First, he stuck the stethoscope on the patient's forehead, and secondly, he replaced the end with a suction cup.