Medical Mishaps Enthusiasts Gifts

'Was that you who screamed?' - 'No, the dentist.'

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

'How the heck could we lose a $14,000 pacemaker?!'

'I'll give it back to you in a second hon, I just want to get this broccoli out of my teeth.'

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

'No, Mr Zarynski...you've got the hospital gown on backwards.'

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

"And as if that wasn't bad enough. They've discovered that I'm allergic to bandages!"

'I can't turn it off.'

spellchecker

"Not dead, nonsense! According to the computer you are dead! . . . Please don't waste anymore of out valuable time and leave the operating room!"

OPERATING ROOM, 'Your husband may have a little trouble sleeping for awhile -- we spilled some coffee in him.'

"See? Right there - my wedding ring."

"Ok, first off... ever have one of those days when you just can't seem to do anything right?"

'How's my Surger? Call 1-600 Lawsuit.'

Sling

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

Dyslexic Palm Reading

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

Paramedic Mistakes.

'Wait a minute! Didn't I see you on 'Funniest Medical Bloopers and Blunders'?'

"I'm still worried about not finding the end of your finger."

Broken legs and broken nose in the hospital.

"Well... the good news is we've dealt with your ingrowing toenail..!"

"Well, at least his heart's in the right place."

"When I yell 'CLEAR' that doesn't mean you."

'You're just going to feel a little pinch, then a horrific burning pain, your eyes will roll back into your head, you will drool uncontrollably...'

CITY HOSPITAL, 'It's all right, officer -- I'm an outpatient.'

'He accidentally brushed his teeth with hemorrhoid-shrinking cream.'

'Mr. Jayson, get back into your bandages.'

Broken hospital sign.