Surgical Mishap Aficionados Gifts

"I'm still worried about not finding the end of your finger."

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

Body Building

'I'll give it back to you in a second hon, I just want to get this broccoli out of my teeth.'

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

'No, Mr Zarynski...you've got the hospital gown on backwards.'

"Not dead, nonsense! According to the computer you are dead! . . . Please don't waste anymore of out valuable time and leave the operating room!"

'I can't turn it off.'

OPERATING ROOM, 'Your husband may have a little trouble sleeping for awhile -- we spilled some coffee in him.'

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

Damn predictive text, did you mean to break up with me or 'brick my tit'?"

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

"Why is it that the laws of inevitability always seem higher on ladies day?"

Paramedic Mistakes.

'He's always talking about all of his operations.'

"Well, at least his heart's in the right place."

"Well... the good news is we've dealt with your ingrowing toenail..!"

"When I yell 'CLEAR' that doesn't mean you."

'You're just going to feel a little pinch, then a horrific burning pain, your eyes will roll back into your head, you will drool uncontrollably...'

CITY HOSPITAL, 'It's all right, officer -- I'm an outpatient.'

'He accidentally brushed his teeth with hemorrhoid-shrinking cream.'

Dr. Mooglum made two mistakes. First, he stuck the stethoscope on the patient's forehead, and secondly, he replaced the end with a suction cup.

Broken hospital sign.

Sorry, you rolled off the table just as I was going in!

"Please excuse our new employee, sir--he used to work in the circus."

'I'm just opening him now. Stand by and I will give you a detailed description of what I find inside your husband...uh...hello?'

'Oh, no -- not again!'

'Went in for a simple blood test and got cloned by mistake.'

'Must've pressed the wrong button. Hang on, I'll ask the nurse.'

"Congratulations, Mrs Foopster!! It's a bouncing baby boy!!"

"You get a great view of the ball park from here."