Fans Of Surgical Mishaps Gifts

"Well, at least his heart's in the right place."

"Satisfaction, stat!"

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

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Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

"If this isn't successful, the next one is on us."

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'I'll give it back to you in a second hon, I just want to get this broccoli out of my teeth.'

Surgeons prepare for the world's first loopendectomy. Objective: Remove that part of the brain that plays the same snippet of music over the over and over.

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

'No, Mr Zarynski...you've got the hospital gown on backwards.'

"Good?"

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

'Another botched Snotox injection...'

'I can't turn it off.'

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

"The I.R.S. can't hurt him anymore."

"Not dead, nonsense! According to the computer you are dead! . . . Please don't waste anymore of out valuable time and leave the operating room!"

"Don't worry, I've performed this procedure hundreds of times."

'I need to reset his internal clock...does anyone have the correct time?'

'Dont you hate it when there are parts left over.'

'Dr. Frisinger thinks he may have left a clamp in you.'

"Why do I always get the stupid wobbly table?"

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

"Relax! He's in good hands!!"

"Sorry, Bob, those are the rules– you drop the kidney, you give them yours."

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

Your body initially rejected the new kidney, but after we pumped you full of liquor, your body found the new kidney kind of attractive. We'll see what happens in the morning, though.

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

"Why is it that the laws of inevitability always seem higher on ladies day?"