Medical Mistake Enthusiast Gifts

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

If these are your medications, what happened to the beads I bought?

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

'I'll give it back to you in a second hon, I just want to get this broccoli out of my teeth.'

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

'No, Mr Zarynski...you've got the hospital gown on backwards.'

"And as if that wasn't bad enough. They've discovered that I'm allergic to bandages!"

'I can't turn it off.'

OPERATING ROOM, 'Your husband may have a little trouble sleeping for awhile -- we spilled some coffee in him.'

"Not dead, nonsense! According to the computer you are dead! . . . Please don't waste anymore of out valuable time and leave the operating room!"

"But the P.R. guy says he's going to be O.K."

'Breast implants? There must be some mistake. I have you down for knee surgery not breast implants!'

"In case we have to go back in."

"Ok, first off... ever have one of those days when you just can't seem to do anything right?"

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

'You came through the delivery with flying colors, Mrs. Lewis.'

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

'Wait a minute! Didn't I see you on 'Funniest Medical Bloopers and Blunders'?'

Paramedic Mistakes.

'Oops - it's not a stethoscope - it's my ipod!'

'I hear you practice modern medicine.'

"And do you get a shooting pain between your eyes?"

'I gave you a few extra stitches - Your husband's idea, really!'

"Well... the good news is we've dealt with your ingrowing toenail..!"

"When I yell 'CLEAR' that doesn't mean you."

'Patients! They whine about MRSA, then they moan about our ward disinfecting regime. There really is no pleasing them.'

"Nurse, you've mixed up the helium and oxygen again haven't you ?"

CITY HOSPITAL, 'It's all right, officer -- I'm an outpatient.'

Dr. Mooglum made two mistakes. First, he stuck the stethoscope on the patient's forehead, and secondly, he replaced the end with a suction cup.

Broken hospital sign.

'He accidentally brushed his teeth with hemorrhoid-shrinking cream.'

'Mr. Jayson, get back into your bandages.'