Medical Mishap Enthusiasts Pillows

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

"Well... the good news is we've dealt with your ingrowing toenail..!"

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

'I'll give it back to you in a second hon, I just want to get this broccoli out of my teeth.'

'No, Mr Zarynski...you've got the hospital gown on backwards.'

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

"And as if that wasn't bad enough. They've discovered that I'm allergic to bandages!"

spellchecker

"Not dead, nonsense! According to the computer you are dead! . . . Please don't waste anymore of out valuable time and leave the operating room!"

'I can't turn it off.'

OPERATING ROOM, 'Your husband may have a little trouble sleeping for awhile -- we spilled some coffee in him.'

"Ok, first off... ever have one of those days when you just can't seem to do anything right?"

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

'How's my Surger? Call 1-600 Lawsuit.'

"See? Right there - my wedding ring."

Sling

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

Dyslexic Palm Reading

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

"I'm still worried about not finding the end of your finger."

Broken legs and broken nose in the hospital.

'Wait a minute! Didn't I see you on 'Funniest Medical Bloopers and Blunders'?'

Paramedic Mistakes.

"Well, at least his heart's in the right place."

"When I yell 'CLEAR' that doesn't mean you."

'You're just going to feel a little pinch, then a horrific burning pain, your eyes will roll back into your head, you will drool uncontrollably...'

CITY HOSPITAL, 'It's all right, officer -- I'm an outpatient.'

Dr. Mooglum made two mistakes. First, he stuck the stethoscope on the patient's forehead, and secondly, he replaced the end with a suction cup.

'He accidentally brushed his teeth with hemorrhoid-shrinking cream.'

Broken hospital sign.

'Mr. Jayson, get back into your bandages.'

'Try not to make this doctor nervous ? this will be his first operation.'

"I told him 1 tranquilizer every 4 hours, not 4 tranquilizers every 1 hour."