Married Life Veteran Gifts

'You know your mother Dave, she's always on my back about something.'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

Adam and Eve: Reconcilable Differences

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

"Darling, you never let me see the side of you that pays."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

'There's an app you can program to delete your trash? I've had one for years called Dave.'

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

Another Filibuster from the Secretary of the Interior of My Car

"It's only fair. He has a man cave."

"That's for staying married for thirty-five years to a difficult woman."

"George is fluent in two languages. English and total nonsense."

"I have been happily married... three times!"

'Don't be so sensitive,I only dozed of for a moment.'

The Colonel reading Clive's letters to the ladies of the regiment.

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

"Hello darling! - I'm back from the black hole!!"

'I can't take much more of the happiness treadmill.'

"We should probably stop calling each other 'Fluffy's person' and 'Fifi's person' and learn each other's real names - now that we're married I mean."

"The wattle fairy came again last night."

"I'll be on the porch, pushing ninety."

"It's all about compromise. He's not dishwasher safe and I'm not microwave safe, but we make it work."

"It's your husband, Mrs. Thompson. He's come unraveled again."

'How long have you two been married?'

"I suggest you read this book....it comes highly recommended by earthlings."

"Why don't we compromise... you admit I'm right and I'll agree with you."