Married Life Enthusiast Gifts

Attila made sure his men would never know the true origin of his nickname.

"I'm always recovering from the previous ten minutes of my existence."

"Every night when I go home my wife whispers those three little words, 'wipe your feet'."

'Harriet just became a senior, but she's an oldie, but goodie.'

I remember when the monster was under the bed...

'Sorry, my wife can't take your call at the moment. This is her answer phone.'

'Sorry darling, I'm too tired to lift you onto your pedestal tonight.'

'Good news, Walter...I found the bullets.'

"Any chance you could sneak away for a little bit and mow the lawn?"

"Your husband is critical."

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

Incompatible.

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

Adam and Eve: Reconcilable Differences

"Homosapius amorius... the common lovebirds."

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

"Use your inside scream."

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

'...better or worse...better or worse...better or worse...'

'If he hasn't got a name yet, how do we know he's ours?'

World's Best Dad. I don't know. I thought they were with you. World's Best Mom.

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

'Don't be so sensitive,I only dozed of for a moment.'

'No, there isn't a probationary period!'

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'Go forth and multiply!'

Mrs Cat waiting for Mr Cat coming home late.

"Estoy aqui abajo!" ( I'm down here!)

So all is not rosy in the garden?

Kindly readers, our resident counselor, Sadie Cohen, will be answering actual questions sent to her via email. Prepare to get an earful of wisdom! Dr. Sadie, I am in a relationship with a beautiful woman who I wish to marry but am still reeling from my first marriage scares me. How do I get over that fear? Signed, Fearful in Salt Lake City. Fear is a worthless emotion. It doesn't help at all. What you should be feeling is terror. Run for your life.

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

Mrs. Almighty.

Mommy and daddy Are Always Right!