Marital Life Enthusiast Gifts

Mrs Cat waiting for Mr Cat coming home late.

'Stop feeling sorry for yourself! Start feeling sorry for me.'

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

Try Mediation

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

'...better or worse...better or worse...better or worse...'

"A word of advice, sir...when your wife reaches for another slice of pizza, never, ever say, 'Are you sure you should be eating that?'"

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

'No, there isn't a probationary period!'

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

Kindly readers, our resident counselor, Sadie Cohen, will be answering actual questions sent to her via email. Prepare to get an earful of wisdom! Dr. Sadie, I am in a relationship with a beautiful woman who I wish to marry but am still reeling from my first marriage scares me. How do I get over that fear? Signed, Fearful in Salt Lake City. Fear is a worthless emotion. It doesn't help at all. What you should be feeling is terror. Run for your life.

"Estoy aqui abajo!" ( I'm down here!)

"Happy anniversary, dear. How about a second honeymoon?" "Sure. Who with?"

So all is not rosy in the garden?

"What do you mean I never take you anywhere? We're here, aren't we?"

"No heroic measures."

'My wife likes it when I help out in the kitchen.'

'Looks like the doctor confirmed my diagnosis. It's not just your bowel. Everything about you is irritable.'

"I now pronounce you a joint return."

Gender Symbols

"I love marriage...It's my husband I hate."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, for whatever that's worth these days.'

'I'm not the sitting tenant, I'm your husband.'

"We have box shapes for every commitment level."

"I married for contrast."

Apply to marry multi-marriage failure.

"You never tell me you love me." "I told ya' once. I'll let you know if anything changes."