Modern Marriage Enthusiast Gifts

"Click here if you accept his terms and conditions."

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

Online Dating

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

"And do you, Stephanie, promise to love, honor and 'obey'?

"Do you...enter name...take...enter name...to be your...choose one from the pull down menu...click the I do icon now please."

"Congratulations, dude, and you may now play tonsil hockey with the bride."

'No, there isn't a probationary period!'

"Morning, Brad." "Morning, Angelina."

So all is not rosy in the garden?

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

Mrs Cat waiting for Mr Cat coming home late.

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

"I married for contrast."

'I'm not the sitting tenant, I'm your husband.'

"We even tried cyber sex, but the line was always busy."

"I love marriage...It's my husband I hate."

Gender Symbols

Apply to marry multi-marriage failure.

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, for whatever that's worth these days.'

"Steve and I live together, but we're getting indicted separately."

Effective Catcalls

'Sorry darling, I'm too tired to lift you onto your pedestal tonight.'

'And do you, Rob, promise to love and cherish Simone, even if she earns more than you do?'

'I usually don't do online dating.'

"I went ahead and got married without knowing the possible side effects."

"Now, if something happens to your marriage, do you want do-not resuscitate?"

"Why, it's a little piece of red yarn! Oh Harold, you always know JUST what to get me."

'Harriet just became a senior, but she's an oldie, but goodie.'

"I agreed to 'for better' and 'for worse,' but never to 'for mysterious' and 'withholding'."

"Well, Pook, here's to one old marriage that just won't go away."